Gag Order

By Raundi Moore-Kondo

I choke on words
to keep them down
as they claw their way up to find you

They bring no comfort

Though I want to wrap you in them,
like I used to

Coo you into morning, dove
Calm cool grey

I fear that my sack lunch notes
may never set well with you, again

My nap-time whispers only
poke fun at your peace

Come bedtime I still wish
upon stars to
Mesmerize you
To just once again Scheherazade
you with bedtime stories

My spinning mobile lullaby laser light show has gone from dim to dismal

I’d let you laze
in between my
sweet nothings
for the rest of your life
if you only wanted to

I still whisper “I love you” across this great land

Let my words wander the whims of ocean current
and dessert dune

You used to listen for it
over the roar of stadiums

Now you’d cover your ears
and run screaming from the room, if you only knew

I only want to kiss your dreams sweet
Say a prayer
knelt at the foot of your bed
And lace milk and honey into your midnight

But that only makes you more prone to nightmares

My words are invisible elaborate silky webs
across the darkest doorways

Terror traps for the weak and hungry

All I can do for you
is to become one
with the silent night