A Blessing

By Daniel McGinn

May all the dogs behind their fences bark as you walk by.
May we learn to tolerate other cars, the morning song
of the leaf blower, Xmas music playing everywhere we go
and the neighbor who yells and bangs on things. May we
begin to love televisions in waiting rooms, checkout lines,
nail parlors and restaurants. May we forget about the
home-cooked meal, Mom and Pop stores, non-virtual
reality and snail mail. May you have many liposuctions.
May your head be sprayed, your leg hair removed, your
nails polished, your armpits protected and perfumed.
May you be blessed with the silence of bees, frog-free
creeks and bonus water as the ice caps melt. May the
oceans rise up to meet you. May the holes in the sky burn
kisses on your cheeks. May your chickens grow in the dark.
May their breasts be bigger than porn-star breasts and
10 times bigger than chicken heads. May you have enough
cows to grind. May your burgers be sold for only a dollar.
May your soda size increase. May your breakfast be sweet
and may your cup overflow with mostly corn syrup.