Diagnosis

By Brian Christopher Jaime

I am Tossing
and Turning at night
waging a war with Insomnia,
Nightmares.

I am a sea
Swallowing You
Whole, Engulfing Every Limb
below foam and kelp.

I am Crouching
Darkness, Last
Chances, Panicked
Heart, Price You Pay.

I am Sick
Sweetness of 3 a.m.
binges then Refusal to Eat
for the next two days.

I am a mirror
Looking Back
with its False Feeling
of Wellness.

I am Swelling
in Your Throat,
Absence of words
and phrases.

I am Depletion
of Energy
in your Brittle Bones, Reason
for Not Being, Last Bit of Hope.

I am Reaping
of the Mind, Fear
of Nothingness, Needing to
be Needed.

I am Sheets
over Your Face
because the sun
doesn’t understand.

I am Why
you stay right
there Afraid of Everything
moving forward—away.