I went to sleep in that moment of implosion

By Fernando Gallegos

When the magnified tic tic of the clock unnervingly declare
That second has come and gone, that moment is dead
Even though all the watches are digital

In the moment when the brightness creeps its way into the room
forming a distorted luminescent trapezoid framing the dingy walls
Even though the moon is hidden away behind the clouds and the curtains are sealed shut
In this room where the dirty laundry overwhelmed
The basket and the torn jeans
Lie strewn across the floor
Next to the well-worn boots that I shouldn’t wear anymore
Even though they fit better than a glove

In this moment, I imploded

Sucked the air out of the room
Felt the inner pulling and void filling with nothing but why memories
And I-caused-this synapses
A black hole is meant to swallow it all without caring

But I remember everything

Question every side
Double question my own words
Triple question my own movements
Endlessly argue with my self, SELF

All before midnight
All before I reach out
To find the emptiness I created

I’ll repeat this again tonight