Turn Around, Don’t Drown

By Mary Animaux
From her chapbook Turn Around, Don’t Drown

I changed my mind.
Let’s not do this.

These words
Are maybe all I have
To myself anymore
And once you pass
Them over
Make of them
What you will
File them into your own system of
Understanding Things–

I’m going to resent you forever.

You’ll probably
See everything wrong
In your mind’s eye
Fill in the blanks with yourself
And it will only make me feel worse next time I see you,
More alone.
More pathetic.

Before you turn the page
Practice the smile you will give
The next time you see me on the street.
Memorize the way your cheeks feel right
There. Now. Like that.
Stop squinting.

You’re hopeless.

I’m going to know
You saw this.

And I am going to hate you.

Who the fuck are you, anyway?